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Friday, December 1, 2023


9 years ago I clogged the toilet with a massive poop and humiliated an innocent girl by letting her take the blame


I was 18 years old, my friend lived in a student flat and there were about 10 people around drinking and having a good time. I ended up briefly leaving to go to the shops to get some cigarettes and other bits and pieces but stopped on the way out to take a poop. The poop was huge, 9 years later it was still the biggest poop I’ve ever seen and when I tried to flush it away it clogged the waste pipe and formed a water-tight seal so the bowl just filled up. Since there was no water flowing out the toilet it wasn’t loud enough for anyone in the other room to hear me flush over the sounds of the music and conversation.

I quickly washed my hands and left to go to the shop. When I returned I just let myself back in the room and kept quiet about the poop. About 10 or so minutes later a girl called Emily left the room to go to the bathroom, my heart was pounding. She was in there an unusually long time and when she returned she announced that the toilet was clogged, a bunch of people stood up to have a look and they were howling with laughter at how disgustingly big this poop was.

Obviously, it didnt take long before people were questioning who was responsible for this disgusting display and someone jokingly (yet seriously) said to the girl “you’re the only one who’s been in there in like an hour”. Someone else followed by saying “yeah, I went in before you and I only had a piss, john knows, he was standing outside”. It was perfect, I was actually getting away with this. Nobody knew that I used the toilet before leaving the flat. Another person said “you were in there for like 10 minutes”, she responded by saying she was on her phone and even though it was most likely the truth, it just sounded like a poor excuse. She was obviously getting upset and in her humiliated state tried to bargain by saying “it probably came back up through the pipes”, people burst out laughing. Oh Jesus she really dug her grave with that comment.

It was incredible, even though she was totally innocent, people already built evidence that she was responsible for the monster poop. SHE was the last to use the bathroom, SHE was in there for 10 minutes, the person before her claimed they had a piss into an un-clogged toilet and even had a witness to back up their story. It was a closed case, if this was a court of law she would be found guilty. People were convinced she did it and there I was, the actual perpetrator standing there quietly feeling a strange mix of guilt and relief.


Everyone was a bit drunk so it’s no surprise people were being a bit nasty about it, mocking her, laughing at her. There were a few people laughing so hard they were in tears. It didnt take long before she burst into tears and left. She was always known as “the girl who clogged the toilet with a massive poop”. We didnt see her at all after that, she avoided us completely.

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