I’m about a year into NS and I don’t have anyone I can confide to, so I’m doing it here.
Before NS, I was generally very chill and a happy-go-lucky kinda guy. Now, I’m easily irritable and annoyed at every single thing.
I bottle up all the bad emotions and experiences I faced into myself and it’s gotten to a point where I start to vent these very set of emotions onto my parents.
Whenever they are talking to me, I feel uninterested and upset at them for no good reason, and I talk to them in a very annoyed and sarcastic way.
I know deep down that I shouldn’t be talking to them like this but I just can’t control myself anymore.
I have a bunkmate who is a complete jerk. He acts and talks smart every single time but whenever he makes a mistake, he doesn’t admit it.
He has a problem with almost everything I’m doing and I honestly feel I’m going to punch him the next time he acts up again.
Long story short, I’m more anti-social now and I became more wary of others. I feel frustrated every single minute and I don’t like me as a person anymore.
Thanks for reading.
To anyone who is gonna tell OP to man up. Manning up means nothing. Just because OP might be leaning on the edge of being a social pariah doesn’t suggest anything about his masculinity nor his capability to function in a professional setting.
Sure his current behaviour might lead to some concerning issues in the future, but you also need to understand that people react to different environments in their own ways. It is not logical to insinuate that OP’s struggle in NS would lead to a struggle in real life.
If you are successful in Singapore, would you be successful in the western side of the world? No one can say for certain.
In a world where cancel culture is the norm and people’s heightened sensitivities to toxicity is starting to dictate workplace etiquette, do you really think he can learn anything from the realities NS would supposedly instil in him? I’d honestly say, let the kid figure things out on his own.
People who find struggle adapting to the toxicities of such an environment would normally have a significantly better time out there where toxic masculinity tends to be noticed and punished rather than sucked up.
To OP, just try your best to survive. Nothing that happens in NS matters. My best advice would be to limit your social interaction to avoid unnecessary repercussions. I was in a similar position and I found that the less I gave a shit, the less I suffered.