Slept with my dead twin brother’s girlfriend to help cope with his loss
My twin’s death was one of the most impactful parts of my life. It was confusing, heartbreaking, and completely changed my perspective on life.
I had never experienced a death of a loved one, so my first death being my brother was extremely tough for me.
My parents became increasingly concered about me and my mental health, so she always filled our flat with people close to my brother to make me feel supported.
One of these people was my brother’s girlfriend. She lived nearby and had been dating my brother for about a year, so I saw her a decent amount, but in the months after his death she came over almost every day for supper.
Like me, she took his death pretty hard. We would comfort each other by talking about our favorite things to do with him, listen to his favorite songs, and would do anything to make it feel like he’s still here with us.
One night, while doing this exact routine we had for months, we started talking about their relationship when she told me they were active in bed.
I started bombarding her with questions, all of which she answered with little detail. After finding this out though, it was hard for me to live knowing there was a side of my brother I never got to see and only she got to see.
Over the next year or so, she became more willing to talk about the details that I was dying to know. The more time went on, the more details I got, and the closer me and her became.
It being a few years after his death now, she was an open book with me. We discussed her struggles with dating after bro’s death and how it’s hard for her to even imagine herself being with someone else after what she had been through.
One night we had come home from an outdoor concert. It was the type of cold where you could feel it in your bones. I ran to my room to grab blankets and she cuddled up towards me as we watched some TV.
It felt so natural that I had barely even noticed that what we were doing was probably abnormal. As usual, we start discussing her relationship issues and she mentions how cuddling on me felt like she was with him again.
She started crying which made me start to tear up. I embrace her more as she talks about how much she misses his touch. I would also like to note that throughout all this, I did not have feelings towards her whatsoever other than a fleeting thought here and there.
At this point though, things started to get somewhat heated, despite me not realizing it at first. She slides her hands under my sweater to embrace me tighter and simply asks “Can I?”
At this point I realize what she’s starting to imply and we started kissing. The more we did it, the more passionate it became.
We f-ed that night and it was the most natural good feeling thing I have ever experienced. This evolved into a full on relationship that was cut short by me having to leave for uni.
However, it seemed that whatever she got from our short-lived relationship helped her get over my brother, as she was in a relationship shortly after I left.
She also seemed to be much happier from the few conversations we’ve had since. Our “relationship” also helped me cope with his death in a weird way since she was there for me throught my entire greiving process.
It felt like closing a chapter on a tough time in my life. Not sure how immoral it was but in the end it was largely beneficial to both of us.