A story was seen online shared by a guy on how his girlfriend and him have been in a long term relationship and everything was going fine until adulting started to happen and their conversations about the future began.
Upon talking to his girlfriend, he realised that she wants to live the lavish lifestyle, something which he thinks he cannot afford to give her and she realises it.
They brushed the topic off but recently, he is feeling insecure as his girlfriend has been actively going out to meet people and spending more time on the phone.
He feels insecure but he has since convinced himself to trust her but wants to know his options on what to do as he feels he does not have the right to question her activities as he cannot afford to give her the lavish lifestyle that she is looking for.
Here is the story (quoted)
“Hi all, I need some advice. I’ve been in a super long term relationship with my current girlfriend. Everything was going fine and it was all lovey-dovey until adulting things happened. Right now, we happen to be at the age where people around us are getting married, BTO-ing etc, and so we also started to talk about finances (which is perfectly normal), but that’s also where the problem started.
Her expected standards of living are really high (in short, akin to “taitai” life). I don’t judge that – everyone is entitled to what they want in life. But I’ll be honest and admit that it’s almost impossible for me to afford that kind of lifestyle for her (at least not in the next few years which she is expecting of me).
I believe she herself also started to realise that. It also doesn’t help that friends around her are all subscribers to the “taitai” lifestyle and they also know my current financial situation. We’ve sort of talked about it before and I also told her realistically speaking, it’s pretty difficult for me to be able to provide her with that lavish lifestyle but I guess we just kinda brushed it aside after awhile and adopted a “see how” mindset as we are both quite non-confrontational and don’t wanna get into an argument because of this.
Recently, I realised that she is starting to go out & meet more people than before, and being on her phone texting more often too – which I have to admit it’s making me feel insecure (especially when recently it’s just 2 pax restrictions instead of group settings) but I never questioned her about it, because I’m convincing myself to trust her and I really don’t want to risk the relationship by questioning her (esp if it was all just paranoia).
A part of me is also telling me that I don’t have the rights to question her since I’m probably unable to give her the lifestyle that she craves for. As a defence for her, I feel that she is still treating me well.
What are my options here? For the first time, I’m really lost. TIA”
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