Choose a good ex wife
My relationship with my partner and his kids with his ex wife were fine, great even, until the ex wife started bad mouthing about me to the kids.
I have been with my partner for a few years now,
I think we are perfect, but I have delaying the idea of marriage with him mainly because I don’t know how to deal with fact that once we are married, his kids are a permanent part of my life.
Currently we still have our own lives, our own family and friends activities that we don’t always bring each other as a plus one or the kids.
But there were times where we talked about activities and kids arrangements, they just don’t line up always.
I can’t imagine one day he have to be away for his kids with his ex wife and I am not invited, our kids are not invited.
It feels like he is having two separate families. I never imagined a marriage life where we are not one.
I used to like the kids, taking them as my own until the ex wife bad mouthed me to the kids and we became no longer that close.
It sparks me to think what’s the point of all those time spent building relationship with the kids when at the end of the day, they are always closer to their biological mum.
I also can’t imagine what if one day the kids said somethings that make our kids feel troubled, I wouldn’t know how to react.
I don’t want to be a selfish person to tell my partner to focus more energy, time, effort, money, basically everything on our own relationship.
But this is my honest feelings. I know how much it will hurt him to be trapped in the middle. But I also can’t go against my feelings.
I know they are innocent, there is still a possibility that they will come to appreciate me in the many years to come but these are all possibilities, there’s no certainty.
I am just so upset that why, why is his ex wife such a person.
To all the single man out there, when you choose a wife, make sure that you are certain of her character that if things turns sour, she remains a nice decent lady.
To all the divorcee, you will never know how important it is to mend relationship with your exes and seek common understanding.
Otherwise, the brutal truth is you need to pick a path for life forward.