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Wednesday, November 13, 2024
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GUY’S FRIEND EYES HIS GF & MADE IT CLEAR HE WANTS TO PURSUE HER, SAYS IT’S “LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT”

A friend of a friend made it clear that he wanted to pursue my gf (30F) but I (34M) wasn’t made aware. He approached us at a wedding and wants to continue hanging out with us. Is my response to the situation warranted?

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Some backstory: My girlfriend attended a bachelorette party a month ago. One of the bridesmaids was dropped off by her husband and a friend of the husband. In the 5 minutes that that friend saw my GF, he supposedly “fell in love at first sight” and made it clear to his friends and the bride that he was interested, despite the bride telling him that my gf was in a happy relationship. Bride shares this in confidence to my GF asking her to keep it a secret as it’s just silly gossip.

Fast forward a month. It’s Friday, at the dinner of the wedding rehearsal, my girlfriend and I sit at a small table and this friend of the husband intentionally sits across from me, while his friends sit at an entirely different table. We make conversation and have a good time, and upon leaving, he mentions that we should all hang out together at the wedding as well.

Saturday, at the wedding, that friend is pre-seated at an entirely different table, so we don’t interact much. As they leave however, the bridesmaid, her husband, and the friend of the husband approach us and enthusiastically mention that we should all hang out outside of the wedding more, which strikes me as odd considering we really didn’t engage much, but I agree nonetheless.

At night, I bring this up to my girlfriend and I can’t quite wrap my head around it, until eventually she let’s out the secret. We’ve been discussing this since, and I feel like I deserved to know when he started approaching us on Friday, whereas my GF insists that she didn’t tell me because she felt our relationship was strong and there was nothing to be worried about. And also because she didn’t want me to be angry and make things awkward. My GF states that if he made any obvious moves like asking for her number then she would have shut him down and let me know.

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I personally would never want to be in the dark about this. It just makes me feel like a complete idiot while I invite this guy to hang out with us and wingman him into my relationship. As close partners, I feel like I should be included in details like this – I don’t care if some random person on the street hits on my GF, but if it’s someone who’s potentially close or a coworker, then that’s an entirely different story. Also, I would’ve wanted my GF to have relayed a message to the bride or bridesmaid that she wasn’t interested at all after the events on Friday.

Is this something reasonable to expect? Or is this controlling or a insecurity/lack of trust on my part?

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