We went over 6 years madly in love (I thought) and then he cheated on me with multiple women 5 months before the wedding.
It was on a work trip. He was going with a bunch of women, normal in his industry.
There was one I wasn’t a huge fan of him being around (I knew who she was because she’s friends with his best friend at the time) because she posts revealing photos on her Instagram and makes her entire personality being hyper***.
The last night he was gone I was trying to enjoy the house to myself drinking wine in the bathtub watching a movie, when I texted him I missed him, saw he read it and never got a reply. I sent a couple more saying that made me uneasy and really needed to hear from him. Again read and no reply. I started calling him off the hook, no answer.
I knew something was up. I started texting my friends saying I was worried and they all said to calm down he would never do something like that. But all I could think was that he was definitely having S with that girl.
The next morning he texted me saying “hey sorry my phone died.” I knew it was bullshit, it was ringing, but I wanted to talk to him in person.
When he came home I sat him down and said I knew he was lying about his phone dying, and that if he cheated we would get through it but I needed to know. He said they were all hanging out and he didn’t want to be rude so he ignored me but he was sorry. I didn’t buy it. For days I kept questioning him until he started calling me crazy and possessive and controlling for not understanding.
I let it go. Let him make me think I was crazy. But a month later, someone from his company messaged me on Facebook, telling me what the entire company knew and she couldn’t stand it anymore- he slept with one girl one night, and had a threesome with the same one and the one I was worried about the next night.
He then swore up and down he was going to tell me himself but his boss threatened to fire him if he did, saying I would probably tell all of his employees out of spite or something.
But it was already out anyway because the girls bragged about it to everyone saying they were hot shit for being able to lead an almost-married man astray. Publicly humiliating me.
There was a lot of fighting. A lot of tears. I asked for more details than I should have that haunt me every single day. I tried to kick him out several times but he would cry and beg or just refuse to go. He was scary. He’d get piss drunk, trash the house, punch holes in the walls, broke my laptop, even broke his own hand. We went to therapy. I couldn’t bring myself to cancel the wedding. A lot of things were done last minute because I was too depressed to wedding plan for awhile.
We went through with it. It was a great wedding and honeymoon.
Now about two months later that excitement has all faded and I’m stuck crying every day, thinking about what he did, that he’ll probably do it again one day, that my entire life that I planned with this person will never be what I imagined.
None of our friends know I’m still upset about it. We’re still everyone’s favorite cutest couple and they admire we got through that rough patch. They admire me for handling it so well. They don’t know how much I fight and cry and scream behind closed doors.
I don’t forgive him. I hate him for ruining me like this. I know for sure I will never be able to trust this man enough to have his children so now I’m suddenly playing off to my family I never wanted them (and idk maybe I really don’t I’ve never been sure).
I’m stuck in this life. I can’t just divorce him so soon after all the money my father spent on the wedding and that our families gifted us. In some sick way I hope he does it again soon so I have an excuse- because I can’t go back on what I said I would forgive before the wedding.
I know there’s more he isn’t telling me. His best friend ( was best man) and his wife dropped out of our wedding after picking the side of the threesome girl they were friends with prior- which I doubt they’d do if there wasn’t more to know. I’m scared to ask. I’m tormented enough.
He got a new job right after I found out and brought ex-BFFs wife with him but she quit on him last week with virtually no notice, just stopped showing up. Before she stopped talking to me I was comforted by having a spy at his store. Now I’ve encouraged my friends to work for him hoping they’ll tell me if something else comes up.
It’s only been a couple days but they’re already telling me all his employees hate him and they’re pretty sure it has something to do with ex-BFFs wife spilling the beans. Or worse, maybe he did something with someone else.
I go through his phone all the time but never find anything. I make him share his location but haven’t caught anything yet. I hope my friends find out something so I have a good reason to leave. I feel like I’ll never be myself again until I can get out of this marriage.