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Monday, September 26, 2022
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HUSBAND LEFT WIFE FOR ANOTHER WOMAN, DAUGHTER ATTACHED WITH MARRIED MAN

What is karma?

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I’m in this volunteer organisation for a few years.

There’s this very nice old lady who’s been with us for a while. I find her very kind and a nice worker to have around. She’s a valuable asset to us and I really appreciate her presence.

I know she didn’t mention a husband so I’ve never probed further but I’m aware she has adult children who are single. Recently I guess she has had some problems and she revealed them to me over a lunch break.

She told me her husband actually left the family long ago for another woman. And she found out her daughter had been seeing a married man for a year. She told me she didn’t care what her daughter does as she’s all grown up. (The daughter is in her 40s, so quite unlikely to give birth to children)

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I was rather triggered to hear this as a 3rd party had tried to enter my marriage long ago. But as a friend, I tried to be neutral as a listening ear. She shared more about her life and I can start to understand why her daughter may be drawn to such a love triangle.

After that lunch, I felt our friendship has changed. I don’t think I can agree with someone who is ok that her daughter being with a married man. That man could have been anyone’s husband. My husband. I try to reallocate our work so I would spend less time with her. I can work with someone who has a different political/religious view as me.

But something about how she talks about infidelity just upsets me. She seems to be ok with seeking revenge from other men through her daughter because of her absent husband. How is it ok to hurt others just because you had been hurt before?

When a marriage falls apart and when there are children involved, you have no idea how many people along the way can be affected by the choices you make.

Fall in love responsibly because when you don’t you hurt not only yourself but also everyone around you. Then the hurt will carry on to someone else.

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When will it end? No amount of volunteer work is going to patch that hole in the heart.

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