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Thursday, July 25, 2024


My husband and I have struggled with fertility for years, we have been trying for seven years and nothing ever happened. We finally went to the Doctors about this issue and we were told that we wouldn’t be able to have a child the old fashioned ways and our options laid out for us.


My husband wants to go the route of IVF or a Surrogate while I suggested adoption. I do not want to sink even more time into IVF which could likely not work not to get into the hell it would put my body through and the money it would cost to keep trying that way, as for the surrogate idea I just am not fully comfortable with that.

My husband is against adoption as he wants a child that is “fully ours” and has brought up that we’d know the medical history this way too and avoid any problems, he also added to his argument that we can afford the IVF or surrogate so we should. This upset me as any child would be our child regardless of blood, we ended up fighting over this and he told me firmly he will not adopt a child and to drop it. I was so upset with him over this that I ended up sleeping in the guest room.

I don’t know it just shocked me, we’ve been trying so long for a child shouldn’t any child we raise together be enough? I never thought he was someone to get hung up on blood connections.

Here are what netizens think:

  • Let’s be clear, you have absolute control over what happens to your body. If you don’t want to go through that, then stick to your guns. He would be the AH for pressuring you to undergo IVF treatment if you really don’t want to.
  • Each person in their relationship needs to be on the same page here. No ones personal preferences take precedence over the others.
  • My friend works at a gynecology ward at a large hospital, and multiple times per month they see women who are undergoing IVF treatment, with complications.
  • This is exactly what happened with my ex husband and I, I just couldn’t deal with the meds and monitoring anymore (plus the cost!) even though the issue was with his sperm. We decided we were fine not having kids but it just affected our marriage and we got divorced.
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