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Sunday, May 22, 2022


My husband and I met 5 years ago and everything moved very quickly, it was one of those things where we were both ending relationships we knew weren’t right for us. We’re both in our thirties and knew what we wanted but we took a lot of crap from some friends about how quickly we got married etc.,


Pretty much as soon as our respective breakups were over we both put all of our stuff in storage, he quit his job, I took leave from mine and we went and backpacked together for 6 months a few years ago. It was a lifelong dream we both happened to have and it was amazing.

There are a handful of his friends who are still in contact with his ex, who was pretty pissed when he left as she had been making him support her financially etc so she had to get a job and her lifestyle changed. She was also very angry with how quickly he moved on and spent about a year harassing us which prompted us both to get rid of our social media accounts.

We just had our first child and we created a shared account for updates about the pregnancy and birth and milestones with family and close friends for ease. Well, somehow she found the account and has been sending belligerent DMs to us.

We blocked her account, she’s continued to make new ones each time we block them. At this point our account is private but we still get message requests from newly created accounts of hers.


One of the mutual friends is getting married in 2023 and asked my husband and me to be at the wedding party via a zoom get together since we only have a limited amount of pax that can attend events.

My husband said we’d love to but couldn’t if his ex was going. Friend implied it was because I was uncomfortable around her as she’s his ex, I’m a grown person I don’t care she’s his ex, I care she’s actively harassing us. So I said “No, she makes me uncomfortable because she’s stalking us.”

My husband then shared the extent of abuse he endured in their relationship and now so now everything is very awkward because some think we are out of line to bring up personal relationship matters 5 years after the fact as she’s been working on her mental health and “has changed” I would love that to be true but the harassment implies otherwise.

Now my husband isn’t talking to any of the “friends” who took her side which I think is for the best, his friend throwing the wedding is on his side but the wife to be is upset with us for fracturing the friend group and likely causing a lot of awkwardness at the wedding even if the ex doesn’t come.

I feel responsible because maybe I should have gone along and pretended I was just uncomfortable with her and not provided context. Some of my friends have said it was an AH move to air all her dirty laundry like that.


I feel that if our friends can’t stop her maybe I should the Police to stop her.

Should I do it?

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