A man has sought netizens opinions on the importance of being able to apologise while in a relationship.
According to him, he has a bad temper girlfriend with a huge ego who never once think she is wrong. She often abuses him over and over again in the 2 years of their relationship.
It felt hurt and wonder if it is a big issue if one does not apologise in a relationship. According to him, even if he pushes for it, he will end up being scream at before another fight happens.
In his post:
“How important are apologies in a relationship to people here?
I have a girlfriend with a bad temper and a huge ego. In her mind, she is never in the wrong 99% of the time. In that 1% of the time where even she can see she was clearly in the wrong, she will never admit it and try to twist the truth aka a lie.
The end result is she has been abusive to me and hurt me many times. Often these happen out of the blue and I have always been patient and nice to her. To give you an idea, a friend could be mean to her and to let it out, she will call me and then start abusing me. I am just like huh? What happened? What did I do to deserve this? On my side, I can say I don’t retaliate but besides feeling confused, I also feel really hurt.
At the start of our relationship, when things have blown over, I am always bothered by the fact that she never apologized. These days, I guess it started bothering me less because I realize she just will not apologize. However, from observation, I am wondering if this is a big issue because if one does not apologize, it also means one does not know where things went wrong, and the same problem just keeps happening again and again. That is precisely what is happening in our 2-years relationship.
The problem though is if I push for an apology, not only will I still not get one, because as mentioned in her mind she is always right, she will start screaming at me, twisting the truth, and a new fight will begin. This is very disheartening as it already takes lots of time and effort to calm her down each time so starting a new fight after achieving peace is the last thing I want to do.
Haiz…really stuck. Let things pass, they just happen again. Ask for an apology or at the very least talk about things, get whacked again. It’s like either way I am screwed.”
