asking for money when my kids stay with me?
I have 9yo and 6yo boys with my ex. She’s married to Michael who has a 9yo boy Xander and lives full-time with them.
Xander and my 9yo are not just stepbrothers but best friends. They get along so well that they share a room and a king sized bed. You cannot separate them.
I find the whole thing funny so Xander comes to my house whenever I have my own kids (Wednesday through Saturday).
The thing is that Xander is a rubbish bin and eats everything. I took the three of them to eat some fast food and Xander ate four cheeseburgers.
Seriously. An hour later he said he was hungry and ate 6 waffles. He’s definitely not fat. He’s skinny.
I asked his dad if be could transfer me $20 because this kid won’t stop eating and he said why am I putting a price on our children’s friendship.
He said that it was tacky. I told him that his kid ate $16 worth of burgers in one sitting. He said that he often pays for my sons food so why can’t I pay his son’s?
- I agree with Michael – it’s tacky.
Rather than giving him 4 cheeseburgers which is a ridiculous amount of calories, you have to learn to say No – you are the adult here, and you get to set the rules in your own house.
If you’re giving them breakfast, lunch and dinner plus a few healthy snacks – you can say “hey bud, I think you’ve had enough of that”.
Some kids can’t moderate themselves well and need adult supervision to help them create healthy habits.
That said, I wouldn’t risk the relationship for the sake of your son, and co-parenting well with your ex and her husband. A few cheeseburgers simply isn’t worth it.
If you can’t afford the extra costs, set a limit and make sure they know that they can only have 2 burgers. Totally reasonable!
- You are providing free childcare to a 9 year old, it is not the same as Michael and your ex paying for your boys.
Ask Michael if he’s up for for buying meals for your girlfriends 6 year old, along with free childcare.
- you are not his parent and if you dont feed the kid enough and he complains to his father the shit will hit the fan… Little guy should be shipped to you with at least a little of allowance for his needs.
What does he call you? Does he think you are his step dad or smth?