Husband (34M) wants me (32F) to shower before he gets home from work
I (32F) and my husband (34M) recently got into an argument of this issue. Recently he has said that he wants me to be clean when he gets home from work to increase our chances of spontaneity for intimacy and save time because he also has to shower.
I feel like that’s an unfair to ask all of the time. I understand to a certain degree, especially on weekdays since I go to sleep earlier than him.
We have slightly differing schedules (me:M-F 8-5 and him T-Sun 1-9). Weekends I can stay up with him. We recently got into an argument because he said he gets annoyed that he has to wait on me to shower prior to being intimate.
I’ll usually ask before we even get close to intimacy if he wants me to shower (our tell if we’re in the mood) so it’s not like we’re getting started and then I abruptly have to stop to shower.
I feel like he’s being unreasonable because:
- I don’t think it’s fair to have to shower before a certain time on the off chance he decides he wants to be intimate (I have a higher drive and usually am ready whenever and he has a more physical job/has less energy)
- I then have to wait on him to shower and feels like it’s a little hypocritical
Am I making too big a deal?
TLDR: Husband wants me to shower before he gets home from work everyday but I feel like that’s unrealistic.
Edit: Wow did not expect so many responses. A few things:
- I shower almost everyday, but I like to shower right before bed
- My spouse is neurodivergent and has a thing about hygiene
- This was an argument for the weekends because there isn’t as much of a time constraint for when we have to go to bed
- I wish I had a nice shower to be able to have both of us in there, alas not possible