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Wednesday, August 17, 2022


The woman I am marrying is not the woman of my dreams


I recently had a birthday and in one of my birthday cards my sister wrote that she is “happy to see me marry the woman of my dreams”. In a few short months I will be marrying the woman I love and have dated for the past 4 years. My sister’s note, however, made me realize that my soon-to-be wife is certainly not the woman of my dreams.

I love my fiancée dearly and am eagerly waiting to marry her and start a family together. We are both in our mid-30’s and if we want any chance of having our own children, we need to get to it sooner rather than later. We are both generally level-headed and even though we get into our fair share of arguments, we are quick to resolve it. We also share similar family and life values.

However, we do not share any interests. There are times I wish that we shared the same taste in music and movies, or the same hobbies such as fitness and going to concerts. I typically go to concerts by myself because she shares no interest in the music I like, and music is my number one passion. We have total opposites of what we think is fashionable. The examples above are the main reasons why this woman is not the woman of my dreams.

This notion of “marrying the person of your dreams” had really messed with my head up until about a year ago. Everyone always tells you you’ll find the person of your dreams someday. I worked very hard to attempt to find that person through many years of dating and relationships. I felt that I would come close, but for one reason or another, there was always something that stopped me from committing to the next level, engagement, with the women I had long-term relationships with.


I faced the truth that I am incredibly picky, and even though a woman that shares all my interests and all the emotional and physical attributes I look for in a woman must certainly exist in this world (and of course like me back as well), the chances of finding that perfect someone for me did not seem plausible. I learned that I would have to sacrifice some of the things I look for in a woman if I want to have a family.

Well, the woman I am marrying I believe comes as close to that as I have found. She has the most important attributes that I believe correlate to a happy and healthy household/family. Sure, she hates the music I listen to and doesn’t enjoy silly comedy movies as I do, but she is the kindest soul I’ve ever met and will be the best mother to any child. It took me a long time to realize that is what is most important for me to have a happy family.

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