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Friday, September 22, 2023


I’m 26 this year and I have a wife that is 2 years older than me and she is currently 3 months pregnant. We were watching a movie last night when I got up to use the bathroom. I was gone a little bit, as I’ve been dealing with a nasty stomach bug from food poisoning.


When I came back from the bathroom, she wasn’t on the couch. Confused, I went looking for her, and found her outside the door smoking a cigarette. I was FURIOUS.

Keep in mind, our unborn child is a planned pregnancy. We’ve been trying for over a year and were overjoyed when we learned that we were expecting. I’m so excited to be a father and ready to marry her soon.

In the heat of the moment, I might’ve been a bit harsh, but I was so shocked! I didn’t even know she smoked. After I found her and expressed how I was frustrated and confused, she screamed at me that it was just a singular cigarette. She also confessed that she’s been having a few shots a week with her girlfriends, and the doctors haven’t said a word.

She made me sleep on the couch last night, and she hasn’t said a word to me since. I just got home from work, and she’s said nothing.


Am I the bad husband for getting frustrated with her about this? She says it’s not a big deal, but I feel like it is. I tried talking to her sister, who’s had a few kids already, but she doesn’t think it’s a big deal, either.

How am I wrong…

Here is what netizens think:

  • Absolutely they are different, that’s why I’m not defending that woman in the post. Smoking and taking shots is bad.
  • 100% this!! I know a woman who wouldn’t eat a chocolate chip cookie while pregnant because of the caffeine in chocolate. Meanwhile every other woman in the office had their daily coffee throughout their pregnancies with no negative affects. Don’t drink. Don’t smoke. Don’t do drugs. Anything else, get out of my body.
  • In medical training, we’re actually told that the recommendation is still 0 alcohol during pregnancy since it’s still uncertain what amount is “safe”
  • but it sounds like she might want to… lose the baby? Or something strange is happening to her. OP doesn’t even know she smokes (which means she at least doesn’t usually do it) and decides the best moment to enjoy smoking isnwhile pregnant?
  • Starting Smoking on the other hand is really really really bad behaviour, and again, it just seems really strange, and somehow worse then someone who stopped smoking sneaking one, I just don’t understand who STARTS smoking when they’re pregnant?
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