Just found out wife is pregnant again and I’m miserable and terrified at the idea of another kid.
My (38m) wife (38f) just found out via several pregnancy tests that we have a surprise baby on the way. We already have an 8 year old who was a monstrous baby with colic, sleep issues, and explosive tantrums in their toddler years.
Aside from our first child being such a challenge, we realized we don’t really like babies, and value our time together. We agreed we’d be one and done but any time I suggested getting a vasectomy she objected saying she’d feel bad if we changed our minds.
We live in a small 2-bedroom home and have zero savings. My wife felt the same as me at first but very quickly started to get excited, and change her entire outlook about the new situation. Our 8 year old is smart, funny, and the center of our world, so she figures how bad could another be.
The reason I’m here is because while I’m gently honest with her that this wasn’t something I wanted, I find myself being devoured by resentment and anxiety to the point that I’m hoping the first ob-gyn visit reveals it was chemical/false positive.
I don’t know how we can make room for this new addition, financially, emotionally, mentally, or physically and I’m worried to t