“I have known my husband for more than half my life, married for 17 years. My husband was fat when he was a teenager but lost all the weight when he started to exercise regularly.
He was a fitness junkie when we first met, I was very attracted to him. He was very fit. Those sports athletes on sports channels, in my eyes, he looked like he is one of those cyclists on tour de France.
I have always been slim, even after having children, I was able to maintain my figure and maintain my dress size pre pregnancy.
Probably due to genetics too as my family side people are all slim. I’m in my 40s and my exercise friends have also commented that I can pass off as a mid to late 20s.
I know aging is inevitable and we have children to give attention to so I feel terrible for having these kind of thoughts.
I didn’t tell him what I’m thinking. My husband has start to spend lesser time exercising so he has started to have a dad bod.
Also we work longer hours and spend less time on ourselves. I do home workouts whenever I don’t have the time to visit the gym or jog.
I do pilates or yoga every night. I know it should be more for our health but I would also appreciate it if he made an effort to look fit for me like how I’ve made an effort to look attractive all these years.
I do enjoy sweating myself out for the health benefits so it’s not just a vanity thing.
What bothered me is when we are intimate, his bloated stomach is in the way. And knowing how he felt about being fat when he was a teenager, I don’t dare to tell him it bothered me.
I do indirectly invite him to do home workouts with me when he don’t have the time to exercise outdoors but he always decline so I stopped asking.
I also purposely change my home cooking to less fried and less fatty food. I forbid him to get frozen food. I purposely pop whatever I’m eating (healthy food) into his mouth when we watch TV.
When he open chips to eat I tell the children come and share so he don’t have the chance to have the entire packet to himself.
End of the evening I purposely do my evening routine in front of him in hopes he will also do some sit ups. He is not working out as much and it’s bothering me.
He is not fat at all now, just more on the not lean side anymore. His BMI is fine. I feel ashamed for having these thoughts. I’m never fat before, even when pregnant I did not gain a lot of weight.
I have some friends who never lost the pregnancy weight and I was secretly relieved I don’t have this problem. I cannot imagine my husband becoming fat.”