What should I do repay this?
My situation is quite complicated. I have family ties back in my home country, where my parents currently reside. They generously spent a significant amount of money, approximately 120K, to fund my education. Additionally, a few years ago, I purchased a house for them to live in and they spent 150K on its renovation. Unfortunately, my relationship with my mother has deteriorated over the past year due to favoritism issues.
Whenever we attempt to discuss unrelated matters, my mother consistently brings up the fact that she used her retirement savings to cover the expenses totaling 120K+150K, emphasizing that she hasn’t spent a single cent on herself. This repetitive talk has become exhausting, and I have finally reached a decision today: I want to repay this sum to break free from this endless cycle.
However, the reality is that it will take me several years to accumulate the necessary funds to repay the 120K+150K. The concern is that my parents may not live long enough to witness this repayment. Hence, I’m contemplating whether it would be wise to take out a loan to repay my mother, and shoulder the burden of the monthly installments myself.
I would greatly appreciate any advice you might have to offer. It’s important to note that, for the time being, engaging in a conversation with my mother to mend our relationship seems impossible.
Here are what netizens think:
- It’s not about the money. It’s about the relationship with your mum. Your mum is harping about the money because of the sour relationship, in other words, it’s never about the money. Even after you repay the full sum, you will still be branded as an ungrateful son. Problems that cannot be solved by money is the worse because it’ll never end. Nonetheless, try to talk to your mom n improve the relationship if you can. Else take up loan or play the pitiful card.
- Failed Maths ar. What you owe is 120k minus purchase price of house. If this amount is zero or less than zero, then you have settled your debts. This type of people no need to repay more because even after you have, they will find other things to charge you, like cost of food you consumed, clothes, rent, her pregnancy, delivery, etc. Been there done that. The issue is not money but that she doesn’t like you and will continue to find fault and gaslight you. Education is a parent’s responsibility to their children. You don’t owe them for that. It was their decision to give birth to you, so it’s their responsibility to raise you. She is toxic and not a good parent. Just stay away or limit contact.
- TBH, do you know what exactly your mum wants? From your sentence “emphasising that she hasn’t spent a single cent on herself” says little. Did she explicitly ask you to return the full amount? Or is she just reminding you that you should at least repay her in some way because you have yet done so (not sure what’s the arrangement/agreement for the house). And even if you give her back the $270k now, is she going to use it all? I doubt so. Giving her monthly should be sufficient. Or who knows, your mother is rich enough to not require the $270k, maybe she is just trying to imply something else.