BFs (31M) Mum (60F) treats him like he has a curfew. How Do I talk to him about it?
My BFs mum calls him every night like clockwork. I talk to my mum everyday (by choice) so I’m not fazed by this. What I am annoyed by is she treats him like he has a curfew!
If he doesn’t answer her call within 2 hours she will call me and then his brother. If we haven’t heard anything she will go to his place to make sure he’s OK. He’s usually asleep if he hasn’t answered as his job is draining AF. She has crazy levels of anxiety.
The other one that REALLY gets my goat is if he’s out she will call him to check if he’s gone home, and if not, when he’s leaving.
This includes when he’s at mine. He’s so damn conditioned that he starts to panic and loses all focus on whatever he was doing (yes that includes our “personal time”) and focuses on getting home.
He then has to call her when he gets home no matter the time as she will wait up for him to call.
Ive tried to talk to him about it as ive seen this behavior (there’s more but we will start here) in my own family’s manipulative and controlling parents. He thinks it’s just because she cares and has argued “what if she’s right though?”
She doesn’t have this problem when he stays at hers weekly though…
Netizens’ comments
- Baby boy needs to grow a set. That’s off the charts ridiculous.
- Easier to dump a mommy’s boy than change one.
- explain to him that this will never stop, for the rest of his life, if he doesn’t deal with it. it won’t matter if he has a newborn who needs to sleep, it won’t matter if he’s trying to travel somewhere.
it’ll get worse when he tries to get married, or moves farther away from her. it’s very likely it’ll get worse, but i guarantee it will not stop on its own.
it took my mom years to get my grandma down to 1 phone call per day, and i’ve had to be extremely harsh to get the constant phone calls to stop. it started exactly the same way as what you’re describing.
for yourself, stop answering the phone. you can usually get phones to block or mute certain contacts, and ideally you never even hear the phone ring.
eventually she’s going to get your BF to ask you about it, and you’re going to say ‘she calls at exactly the same time and gets the same answer, and this is an issue between you and her, not me.’ he or MIL is going to say ‘but what about emergencies?’, and you’re going to respond with ‘that’s why i want the frequent calls to stop. i want to be able to unmute her in case there is an emergency.’