Hello everyone,
I’m seeking advice for my current situation with my husband. I’m just not sure what to do anymore.
I’ve been married to my husband for 5 years and we have been together for 10. He’s caring, loving, and patient. I couldn’t be happier with the exception of our bedroom life.
Before the past two year, it was great. We started off slow as this is the first relationship that I’ve ever had and slept with. He was willing to take things as far as what I was comfortable with and did not pressure me into sleeping with him.
Once we started having intercourse, things were great. We could literally not take our hands off of each other. Things intensified when we got married and it was wonderful.
There were no issues with him initiating until a couple of years ago. I noticed that his initiations have become less and we starting having penetration less and less. Now, I’m usually the one that usually has to initiate something.
However, it doesn’t usually lead to penetration. He responds to my initiations by engaging in other forms of play. He will often caress my body, rub my chest, perform oral on me, use toys on me to simulate penetration.
Don’t get me wrong, this feels great and he really takes care of me. He ensures that I finish at least a couple times. However, after he’s done making me come in this way, I try to take things further and usually get shut down.
I try rubbing his member over his shorts, dirty talk, telling him that I need him inside me so bad. However, he declines. He’s not rude about it. He simply holds me and tells me that “I’m tired” or “not tonight.”
I can clearly feel that he get hard when I rub him down there, but he still declines. I’ve told him that I want to please him and make sure he’s taken care of since he ensures that I’m taken care of, but he brushes it off and says it’s ok that he doesn’t get off.
I’ve tried wearing revealing clothing, playful teasing, talking about f-ing more to further indicate that I want him. He appears receptive, but won’t go further than what I mentioned earlier.
I’ve tried talking to him about this and how I feel in response to the lack of initiation and PIV. He apologizes and says that he’s just tired. He has made efforts to compensate by bringing home new toys, but I miss him and the feeling of being with him.
I know he works a lot and his job is stressful. However, I’ve caught him pleasuring a few times early in the morning.
In some of these instances I’ve seen him watching adult videos. Out of curiosity (I know, I know, it’s nosy of me), I’ve checked the search history to see what type of videos he’s been watching. From what I see he’s been into pegging, public toilets, and cuck types of videos.
I haven’t made a big deal out of it. I’ve gently told him that I’d like to watch with him and talk about some of his interests. He was embarrassed on the occasions I have caught him, but I try to be supportive and ask if he’d like any help with that.
Sometimes he’s receptive and will let me stroke him, but he doesn’t climax. I’ve tried suggesting penetration at that point, but he declines and says that he needs to get ready for work.
I just don’t know what to do anymore. I love him with all my heart. I’m sorry for the long post. I just feel so stuck.