For me, friendship is based on mutual trust and respect. I used to treat her as a very very special good friend, and also including getting her along for most of my social outings, getting to know key ppl, but over times and again, many times there were inconsistencies, betrayals and most importantly joining different groups, getting close to ppl and then gossip and form sub groups.
These actions I have seen for myself including with our common group had caused rifts and underlying negativism. If can do it to others, I am just very cautious and worry to become the next target.
I feel that even when we used to be so close and she was unprovoked, she could make personal gossips just like that, makes me scared for myself, my reputation, my work, my loved ones. She also goes after my very close friends now which I intro to her. So I really scare for myself and don’t want to say anything till now as I scare target me
Also yesterday in our common group, she had stated she keen to join an event, organised by a friend in the group, also her close friend. I was surprised then end up she came for another event yesterday, this not being very upfront and fair to ppl. Just one very recent example amongst many.
To me biggest concern is gossiping about close friends, sometimes using a fact, but putting it in a different context, and using the sympathy card. And then get very close to ppl in each group she join, text them a lot, finding out activities through pics and social media, ask to join in, and then gradually onwards to share gossip about others behind back, yet after that can act all close and happy to the person. after sometime ask buy friend business venture things. Very consistently like that. She also told me v recently she having vip access with the group I into her to.
So I tried but at this point I no longer find it possible to maintain such a friendship. Spoken Words is one thing but repeated actions like that speaks a lot.
As we are in common social groups, and alumni, doing shared common activities and having close common friends, How do I deal with this?