How much should I give an unsupportive family?
27yo here who’s about to start a first ft job. My pay is already well under median (4500) for a fresh grad from my course, and my parents expects me to give them an allowance of $1000 a month, approx 30% of my salary before CPF, inspired by my brother who’s 23 and never has to pay for anything in his life including his uni and various hobbies unlike me, but he gives 100% of his internship allowance to them knowing they will happily take care of him.
My family is decently well to do, so money’s not an issue for my parents. I’m obviously not the favorite child and am trying to save up quickly to move out, knowing that my parents will never be satisfied no matter how much I give them. I haven’t even started work, and it’s already “Pay us allowance of $1000/month, or get out from the house and go rent a room for $1800 a month”. They know the housing market is messed up, and keep bemoaning that my room would be of better use “rented out”. They’re already chasing me to get out on a near daily basis, and it’s clear they quickly want to burn bridges with me.
Here’s why: My parents see me as an unfilial freeloader as I don’t give them money at all — I hustle and manage my money strictly, saving and investing (and reinvesting) nearly 80% of all the money I get from a few part time gigs into a few decently performing side businesses instead of giving them 100% of it like my brother. I haven’t taken allowance from them since JC, I don’t owe them anything, and quit clubbing when I was 18 to hustle and start my business, and have paid nearly 80% of my school loan off already working as a part time worker during my degree. I know that I can never rely on my parents to support me in any way, so I’ve got only myself to rely on, and I do not want to drag my girlfriend into this. Therefore I don’t want to give them any money honestly, given that they’ve been less than supportive in my life.
To get advice for my situation, I’d like to ask here:
How should I deal with this impasse? When’s the average age of moving out of the house? How much do fresh grads give their parents every month? And how does one remind their parents that it’s their child, not a CPF (Child Paying for Family) retirement policy?
Would appreciate some advice beyond “suck thumb bruh, life’s like that” please! Thanks everyone.