For the guys out there who have never been in a relationship or dating before, as a guy myself (25 yo, NUS alumni), I want to share on some important notes before you start dating or a relationship.
1) Actions from girls are more important than words. Yes, a girl may claim she misses you, text you good morning, say will bring you you to xxx, say will do xxx. If they are just saying without any actions done CONSISTENTLY, then it is just plainly talking.
2) Please don’t accept a relationship just because you are afraid to be alone or already in the so called “typical age range to get married” or most of your friends are attached. Rather to be alone than to be in a relationship/marriage suffering!!
Side track: according to book I read, the most important things in life for a guy are:
B) Own savings
C) Family and Guy Besties (see girl is not in the list)
3) Watch out for her body language. If a girl CONSISTENTLY:
A) Keep her phone/phone screen away from you
B) Disallow you from using her phone
Explanation for A and B: she does that because she has something fishy to hide.
C) Never want to put your couple picture as her dp or post on social media or even discourage you to do so. Delete your couple photos on her phone.
Explanation for C: She considers herself to be in the “spinster” market. Means she is still looking around for her partner or even scared of people seeing you two together.
D) Always talk about herself and rarely entertain you
Explanation for D: One sided. She only want companionship. There should be give and take.
E) Always online on WhatsApp/Telegram but take 10000 years to reply your messages
No need to explain you should know why.
F) Say “none of your business”.
This is a major red flag. In a relationship, you all are supposed to work and listen together, not one don’t care about the other.
G) Don’t know what she wants in a relationship. Even after months.
H) Flirting and Cheating. When someone flirted and cheated although she has you, it means that your relationship is not that strong enough to begin and typically she will not suddenly change her heart overnight. So please do yourself a favour to distance away from her. Why tolerate someone like that?
I) Always texting a lot of male friends. Go to male friends’ house alone and not with a group of people.
J) Not willing to fork out money for meals/trips on YOU. If a girl is cash stripped because of her family situation (eg. Take care of family/pay loan/debt), it is understandable. Otherwise, the typical girl will always have more than money to spend on you on meals. Imagine a girl having difficulties parting with her money at the dating stage/while in a relationship, and imagine if you were to have kids with her, she definitely want you to spilt/pay for the hospital bills and baby accessories expenses. Would you ever want that?
Side note: a typical girl will chat with more than one guy online/in person. Please keep your eyes open and don’t put 100% heart into the relationship unless you feel reciprocated. Otherwise you will get hurt.
4) I suggest men to watch videos from Andrew Tate YouTube Channel (yes I am a fan of him). From his channel, I learned that a girl who truly wants to be with you would put 100% effort and her heart to be with you. She will be willing to spend money and time with you. No excuses. No mind games. You will be her priority other than her job.
Thanks for reading up to here . I have been in the above situations blindly until I woke up finally. It has been very heartbreaking for me since I put my 100% heart into it. I cried a lot and felt depressed and I am recovering from it now. At least I am thankful for recognising it at the start of the relationship.