I’m 37 this year. Single for almost 7 years already. Honestly? I’ve completely checked out of the SG dating scene. Last time, I used to feel lonely, download CMB and Tinder, swipe until my thumb painful, and try so hard to match. Now? I look at the whole process and I just feel exhausted. The sheer amount of admin work and logistics just to maybe get a first date is ridiculous.
First, you must play the texting game. Cannot reply too fast later look desperate, cannot reply too slow later she lose interest. Ask standard questions like “What you do for fun?” or “What’s your favorite food?” until I can recite my own answers in my sleep. Then if you lucky enough to organize a meet-up, the financial damage starts.
Standard café date or decent casual dining restaurant nowadays easily $80 to $100 for two pax after GST and service charge. And let’s be real, most of the time the vibe is just not there. You sit there for two hours doing a job interview disguised as a dinner date, talking about BTO timelines, career goals, and which European country you want to travel to next. If no spark, boom, $100 gone, weekend wasted, back to square one. Do this five times and you already spent $500 for nothing but small talk.
The ROI is just completely broken. Why am I working so hard after a stressful 9-to-6 job just to court someone who expects you to have a 5-year housing plan on day one?
The other day I was having drinks with my bros at a coffeeshop, complaining about this exact nonsense. My friend Nestor looked at me, took a sip of his beer, and straight up said: “Bro, don’t waste time already. You single for so long, find it a hassle to date, just go Geylang $60 settle everything. Fast, game over, no stress.”
Everyone laughed, but honestly? The older I get, the more that twisted logic makes sense. I’m not saying I’m actually going to do it, but I totally get the mindset. No need to dress up, no need to pretend I care about your weekend pottery class, no need to worry about text response times, and definitely no need to pretend I’m looking to buy a million-dollar resale flat in Bishan.
I’ve reached a point where my single life is so peaceful. I finish work, I go gym, I play my video games, I sleep. My money stays in my bank account or goes into my investments. To disrupt all this peace just to chase someone on a dating app who probably has 20 other guys in her inbox? It’s a massive hassle. Better to just save my money, buy my own food, and live in peace. Anyone else completely given up on finding “the one” in Singapore?