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Sunday, July 21, 2024


My (25m) GF (24f) wants me to send monthly payments to her family


Tl:dr I just started making good money, my GF wants me to start sending money ($1,000 or more) to her family every month. I refused and she’s irate with me, calling me selfish, etc. Seeking advice.

Hey guys, need some advice here. My GF and I have been together for about 2 years now. We live together and share some finances, split everything 50/50, but I believe she’s trying to take things a bit too far by asking me to give money to her family.

For more context, she was born here but her parents are foreigners.

My GF is an outlier in her family whereas she is one of the only one of her relatives to get a degree. She is making decent money now. She leads a stable and drama free life, which is why I love her. She is frugal with her money and is generally low-maintenance.


Her sister, on the other hand, is a mess. She is a single mother of 2. She is now jobless and moved in with relatives who are also struggling. Blames everyone for her shit except herself. Her mother is not doing any better. She is also just notoriously bad with her money, she will spend the last $800 to her name on a fancy table she doesn’t need then freak out and ask for money to cover rent. This is just a glimpse into the mess of her family, not even including all the issues and drama caused by her extended family. (there are many of them)

Then, there’s me. I come from a pretty poor background and have worked myself silly to get into a good financial position. I finally started making a decent wage in the past 2 months ($150K) for the first time in my life, I have things I could only dream of like…good healthcare and a savings account.

Recently, my girlfriend approached me and asked if I could start helping her send money to her family since I’m making good money now. I was a little taken back, and just asked what she thought. She’s asking me to contribute nearly $1,000 each month to send to her mom and sister. I said absolutely not, I think it’s absolutely ridiculous to just be sending monthly payments to relatives, much less relatives that aren’t even mine! She’s acting like I’m being outrageous by refusing, saying she couldn’t believe I’m so selfish.

She will absolutely not let it go and her demeanor towards me has shifted since I shut her down. I feel like I’m going insane. If a relative was in a life or death situation and needed some funds, sure, I could spare some change. But not $1000 a month! Or any monthly payment for that matter.

I tried to compromise and said I would buy some school supplies or some clothes for her sister’s kids. (Who I feel are an innocent party here and shouldn’t suffer from there’s mom’s stupid decisions) She refused, saying it’s not enough. Either way, I really don’t want my hard earned money in the hands of her relatives who are notoriously bad with it.

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