I have doubts whether to continue this relationship or not. Should I give up? What advice would you give to a friend in such a situation?
I got divorced about 2 years ago and currently I’m in a relationship with this guy who’s in his 30s who is also a divorcee with a kid.
Some information about this guy. He’s decent looking. He seemingly has mostly the right value and principles in life. Character wise he’s okay, but two things that I can’t stand. He’s hot tempered and I come to realise kind of wishy washy.
He is not exactly doing very well. I earn more than he does. He’s in debt and he’s has difficulty scraping through every month. We practically go dutch (I pay more sometimes) on dates because of this.
He has his own space and he is renting out to his ex gf and sister (Malaysian zzz) and the rent helps with his finances (still barely scraping if you ask me). Because of this, I have never been unable to go up to his place openly. For the duration of time we are together, we are always quarrelling about this matter.
1. At first he was suppose to get the gf and the sister to move out. But not done. On the account that the rental does help with his finances. I relented.
2. I am only asking for a simple request. I should not be barred from gg up to his place isn’t it? Or am i expecting too much. But it takes so long to get one thing settled.
3. He gives the reason that he’s looking for the right time to talk to the ex-gf. He is afraid the ex will be unhappy and decide to look for a better place to stay (loss of rental), or worse case scenario if she’s not over him, she might kill herself.
4. Despite breaking up already for more than a year. Yes wtf – is he thinking too much? Or is this an excuse idk. Freaking foreign girls seriously.
We are not looking to get married (becos really that’s overrated, if you ask me). But I find myself feeling stupid and sore to be compromising on this matter. I get nothing out of this, and it is not as if the a portion of the rental goes to me. I’m bitter about it.
I dk whether to give up on him. Everytime I try to, he will crawl his way back and I’ll end up relenting. I find myself becoming more bitter about the relationship but idk how to let him go. It’s probably hurting my ego to be with such a person but yet, losing him on such grounds hurts my ego too.
I mean, I can be happily single or find a better person out there. But really… people have asked what’s holding me back from giving him up.
1. He’s keeps me company.. a decent company, I guess.
2. The sex; not too bad. We have the same drive and it keeps the relationship gg I guess.
But I’m beginning to doubt if we can go on for long term. We can’t communicate because whenever we touch on sensitive topics as above he shuts off. Yes, he does crawl back everytime we quarrel, looking for me, eventually but it feels like this relationship really isn’t gg anywhere. Because everytime I think of the problem he brings on the table, I feel shortchanged. I no longer knows if I truly want him back because of I love him or if it’s really because I don’t wanna be single.
Yet I find it very tough to continue working on the relationship with him as it’s just tiring to keep quarrelling about the same issues over and over again. I don’t understand why I even need to ask for basic decency about the ex-gf matter.
Help.