I think that my (29m) girlfriend (30f) is expecting for me to propose on our anniversary. How do I tactfully discourage those expectations?
My girlfriend and I have been dating for about a year now, and our anniversary is coming up. Over the last week or two, she’s been doing things like sending me marriage advice-themed social media posts, or teasing/joking about marriage, and a few other similar remarks, and it’s making me think that she might be expecting me to propose on our upcoming anniversary.
For the record, we have had conversations about our future and marriage, and I am planning a proposal later this year, but I’m not quite in a position to be able to do so just yet.
Is there a way I can tactfully let her know not to expect a proposal on the anniversary, so that she’s not quite as disappointed if it doesn’t happen when she expects?
- Honesty is the best policy here. Tell her you’re planning on it but you still have stuff to take care of and it’s not going to be happening until later in the year. Boom, you’re both happy.
- Bro, this literally just happened to me. I was planning on proposing, and we had V-day coming up. I didn’t have the ring yet, I wasn’t ready to buy it, but my gf kept bringing up “when we get engaged” comments, and I felt a little pressure. So one day we were on a walk and talking and I said “hey, I want you to know that I love you and we’ve talked a lot about getting married and I want that soon. But, I am not prepared to propose to you on Valentines Day.”
She laughed and said “oh baby that’s fine, I know you will do it when you’re ready.”
And that was it. She asked if I felt a little pressure to do it then, and I told her yes, and she apologized for bringing it up so often, and I said that I love talking about our future together and we should keep talking about it.
- Just tell her you’re planning the proposal but it’s not on the anniversary.
- If youre already thinking and planning to propose later in the year, make sure to say that. She’s obviously a woman excited to be proposed to and married- this will prevent a ton of hurt and sadness.