Im a woman in my 40s and I have 2 children with my ex “Mike”, including “jane” (f17). She is at the age to go to poly and she is in the midst of deciding where she wants to apply for.
We have been lucky enough to save a small education fund, totalling $50,000 for jane. When looking at schools she was interested in, I sat her down and talked her through the process + her fund. (Mike lives in at Pasir Ris but knew we were having this talk.
I told her how much she had and discussed different options. I told her how public schools are typically cheaper and more recognized compared to private schools, and how she might have to take out a loan if she chose a more ‘prestige school’ or didn’t quality for scholarships.
I told her that if she didn’t spend all the money on schooling, it would still be hers after graduation. I also brought up how staying close to home(We stay in woodlands) would save on living expenses if she didn’t want to travel so far. I wanted her to make an informed decision with all the facts, especially financially. Because of this, Jane has looked at applying for Republic Poly which is nearby.
Mike called me furious, saying that jane was considering a school close to where I live and that it was only because I had scared her into it by telling her she couldn’t afford other private schools and travel arrangements.
I told him I’d had an age-appropriate conversation about education, finances, and student debt with jane and she was making decisions that are in her best interest, not mine or his. Before this, jane had considered moving in with her dad as he lived within a short driving distance to Temasek poly which she wanted to go too.
Now she is apparently looking at other schools and isn’t as on board with that discussion anymore. Mike said that I had financially blackmailed her so that she wouldn’t go live with him, and that I’d only told her all these things to scare her financially.