My (24F) boyfriend (24M) refuses to marry or stay with me unless I agree to put everything into a joint account with him
I’m honestly at a bit of a loss regarding this situation. My boyfriend and I have been together around 3 years now and marriage is now the natural next step.
He believes everything needs to be combined and I would like to have a separate savings specifically for myself.
I told him that I was fine with the joint covering all of our expenses and any amount budgeted but I would like to keep some in my personal savings.
It’s honestly just the principle of having some privacy and keeping something of my own despite being married.
He doesn’t understand my desire to have something of my own and says it’s a sign I don’t trust him and he doesn’t want to be with someone who doesn’t fully trust him.
I know I have some trust issues which plays a part in my desire to have something for myself but he is completely unwilling to compromise.
The only thing close was him agreeing to me having a separate savings if he has the login.
He has contextualized all his decisions around the idea that healthy couples should be able to communicate everything and I should not need a separate account.
He said we can have discretionary income for our private purchases so I shouldn’t need anything else, but I would really like to be able to put my own money aside if there is extra after the budget has been accounted for.
I truly love him but I’m not sure if this is a value I can give up but I would hate to see my relationship end because of this. I plan to go to therapy to work on my trust issues but do you all have any advice on how to talk to my boyfriend or what to do?