How to deal with my colleague
I’ve been really troubled and stressed by colleague A’s recent behaviour.
Long backstory, but basically he has previously accused me of intentionally trying to leave him out of group activities, even though it is not the case.
For example, when colleague B asked me out for lunch with other colleagues (all known to colleague A, but he was not included), I accepted.
Colleague A found and accused me of purposely ostracising him. I explained that I was invited by colleague B, and it was not in my position to ask others to join.
I’m someone who rarely ever initiates group lunches (tbh I prefer eating alone), and imo it wasn’t a department lunch, just an informal impromptu lunch with ppl from diff teams, so there was no need to call the whole world to attend??
For context, colleague A and I have known each other for a really long time (we entered the company around the same time) and have been on good terms.
I’m wondering whether he is expecting me to be his “bff” at work and to always hang out with him / have his back?…. Which I have no desire to do.
I’m more of a friendly loner, can get along with most ppl but no desire to be particularly close to anybody or be “affiliated” to a certain clique.
The above is just one in a looong line of incidents where he has accused me of various similar issues. It’s affecting me quite a fair bit….
I feel like I can’t hang out with people freely (even tho they are the ones who invited me) without the risk of offending him and him throwing his tantrums at me (lots of paggro / micro-aggresions..)
I keep telling myself that I’m not answerable to him for what I choose to do or who I hang out with at work, but I’m still quite stressed about interacting with him even for work purposes.
Sigh