MAN WANTS TO BREAK UP WITH GF BECAUSE OF HER $250K DEBT, REFUSE TO BE TRAPPED WITH HER

I (30M) am considering ending my relationship with my partner (26F) due to her $250,000 in debt..

l am a 30 year old male. I have a well paying job (roughly 100k per year). No debt.

My girlfriend has 250k in private loans for her studies for a private degree with a variable interest rate, not sure what exactly she’s studying but a quarter of a million dollars? How could it amount to so much.

With how fast it is growing… she will need to put 25k a year into it just to keep it in the same place. That basically guarantees that I will never have financial help during our relationship. Additionally, with how much she will need to work just to pay on the loans..

I won’t have much help around the house or with our kids (if/when we have some) either.

I keep blaming myself that I can’t just deal with it.. it’s just money right? But at the same time when I look at the reality of the situation I can’t help but feel I need to walk away from this situation.

Additionally, she is going back to school for a higher paying job (probably 60-85k income at the end realistically with the possibility of 125k a year if she works herself to death) but this program will add another ~30k in loans. I think this is a bad decision..but it’s also the only option she seems to have to up her income.

I feel like I don’t want to wait until I’m 45 when this debt (might) be paid off to have children.. I don’t want to put my life on hold in this way, but I also love her a lot. We’ve talked a lot about this and about k. plan to pay it down etc.

It now feels like my options are either accept that this is reality and it will be many years before she’s free if this debt.. or end the relationship.

Any advice?

Wanted to give an update. After reading all your comments and picking up a book about decision making in regards to money and love (will share of interested). I have come to the decision that I do, sadly, need to end the relationship.

She is a wonderful girl and honestly my best friend, but the reality of her choices financially will alter the course of my life in such a profound way that all I can see is resentment in the end. I have to stop guilting myself into sacrificing myself for others to the point of my own mental turmoil.

Thank you all for the advice. It really helped me see that either choice is okay to make and I’m not a failure for saying it’s too much for me.

Netizens comments

1. She can’t afford to go back to school….
2. Can’t afford not to either, sounds like.
3. She’s basically financially enslaved for life.
4. My brother was in your exact same situation and married her, saddling himself with her debts. They don’t have much in savings. He’s gone back to school for accounting to find a better job that will pay more (he was previously a pastor). She has a bachelor’s degree in social work and can’t do much with it, so she’s working with disabled and troubled children doing fairly dangerous work with little to no hazard pay. I don’t know how happy their marriage actually is, but I can tell you he doesn’t want to have kids right now because he feels like they literally can’t afford another mouth to feed. He’s constantly stressed. I worry about him. From the outside looking in, I don’t know that he’s done the best thing for himself or for her. I don’t know that she’ll be happy unless she can be the pastor’s wife with at least three kids, and I doubt he’ll be happy working himself so hard and stressing over money all the time. His life partner is not my decision to make, but I can at least provide you with commentary about a couple that was in a similar situation to yourself so you have more info.