30.9 C
Singapore
Tuesday, September 27, 2022
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MAN WITH $500K FEARS MARRIAGE, THINKS FUTURE WIFE WILL TAKE HIS MONEY WHEN DIVORCE

Situation

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* 31M, with net-worth of 0.5 mil SGD and will continue to work and get over 200kSGD per annum. So financially secured

* born in a very poor family and worked my ass off since school, good grades, worked 12-15 hrs per day to finally help my family lift from financial woes

* I didnt do much of party/travel/fun in general cause i knew only way to get out of poverty is to work hard (unlike my friends or peers who were quite well off compared to me in terms of family background).. but that was a conscious sacrifice

* really want to have a loving family by 35 with a kind girl and ensure my kids grow up with mom and dad present.

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Complication

* to have a loving family, i need to marry and i am shit scared entering into such legal contract where i sign once and half of (all accured since age of 18, day night work and future earnings) is completely in the hands of the wife.

* “no fault divorce” means even if didn’t do anything wrong. Wifey can choose (people can change lets be honest) to just take my kids and half my current/future wealth

* These laws made sense in 1900s because women were completely focussed on homemaking. But in 2022, women can earn/be promiscuous and still enjoy all benefits of traditional marriage

* It hurts but true.. One lady psychologist said, women confess that “1st marriage is for money and 2nd marriage is for love”.. makes sense right? after 1st marriage your alimony is ensured. Now you can go ahead and have lovers/bfs while ex-husband pays for your “lifestyle”… and if you had 2nd marriage, your alimony stops that means the 2nd guy was really worth it for you…. if i was a woman in today’s age it sounds so amazing… as a man it crushes me that divorce laws are so one-sided

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Advice needed

* please help me understand how is a man expected to get married in such times where women can choose to break marriage and be rewarded for it

* Is there a way to make this fair? like ensure that if i make a fault in marraige, fine i pay for the mistake. But if i was a good husband then i should be able to protect all i have earned throughout these years with so many sacrifices

* please help me see the light at the end of tunnel that still we can have loving families in this modern age where divorce laws are from 1950s, completely crushing men who get married

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