My wife (30) and I (M31) have been married for 7 years but together for 10. We met when we were in school and fell head over heels for each other.
She’s my best friend and the better half of me. Her smile brightens up the room, her laugh gives me chills and her eyes are so beautiful they make me tear up. She’s my world. My everything.
About 7/8 months ago she started losing weight, complaining about really bad headaches and just not feeling good in general. She didn’t want to go to the doctor but it got to the point she couldn’t work anymore.
Come to find out she has stage 4 brain cancer. As I’m writing this my wife is getting ready to be moved to hospice care.
She doesn’t have long left to live and we’re making her as comfortable as possible. I stay by her side every day/night, her eyes are still as beautiful as they always are. She doesn’t laugh anymore but she does smile a little.
I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to go on without her, we don’t have kids. she’s all I have. We should be planning our lives together, vacations, starting a family but now I’m planning a funeral.
I can’t show her that I’m scared and heartbroken. I don’t want her to suffer anymore and when the time comes I will tell her it’s ok to let go and be at peace.
She’s not even gone yet and I miss her already. I don’t know what to do, I feel so numb from all of this. It doesn’t feel real, I feel like I’m on loop in a bad bad nightmare that isn’t going away.
I don’t want her to leave but it’s selfish to want her to stay when she’s suffering. She’s my everything, I don’t know if I can live without her. I miss her already. I miss her so much.