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Saturday, November 26, 2022
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MUM ALWAYS COMPARE DAUGHTER TO COUSINS/SIBLINGS, ASKS WHY THEY EARN MORE

How to boost my gf’s self esteem and confidence

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My gf and I are in our late 20s. From what I gather, since young she has this mentality where she feels like the whole world is constantly judging her, be it her actions, her dressing, basically just how people view her. I think it doesn’t help especially since her family likes to compare (which comes with alot of gossiping behind). On the other hand, my family is very welcoming and supportive so whenever she comes over (every week for dinner), she feels very bad which I will then reassure her.

She often says our families are very different and that I don’t understand how she feels but I just cannot understand why she feels so bad about herself and will constantly ask me if my family dislikes her.

From what I hear, her cousins and sibling earn more than she and I does. She hears this from her mum who seems to always “compare” her by repeatedly mentioning to her that her cousin A-Z are all very successful, or that her friend’s son earns alot etc, then afterwards gf’s mum will get my gf to agree with her that they are very outstanding. Time to time she just gets demoralized and compares herself to others alot when this kind of situation arises. I suggested and pushed my gf to voice out to her mum that she doesn’t like to be compared or hear about other people’s salaries which she did so and I believed it had stopped for quite awhile until…

She recently told me that her mum told her her sibling had also applied BTO but received rejection letter as the sibling and partner had exceeded the income ceiling.

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So she’s back to self pitying and on a comparison spree again. How can I help my gf? She herself knows that life is not a race and she should feel happy for others but at the same time she still keeps comparing herself with others and now is even comparing me to others too. Any advice on how to get her to stop with such thoughts

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