Well, i never had a good relationship with my MIL. It was always amicable, though i don’t really like her since she kicked us out of her home right after we got married (stayed there only for a few days) because she wanted privacy in her 5room hdb flat and wants to live alone. She previously agreed to let us stay there fyi.
Anyway we moved out because we didn’t want to strain the relationship further too. Though my relationship with my husband suffered because we had issues finding a place to stay, and we didn’t have enough to rent. Our marriage suffered the first year. I feel resentful at my MIL because of this, though i know it is technically not her fault – she simply threw a difficult scenario for us to handle as a couple.
In between these few years, nothing happened between me and MIL since I was always invisible to my MIL too. She will never start conversations with me when i visit weekly. I will always have to talk to her first and initiate convos. She never reciprocates too. I feel hurt sometimes but i chalked it up to her being a socially awkward person and loved her privacy.
Fast forward, years later, i got pregnant and suddenly she notices me. She tried to put in more effort to talk to me, though it’s minimal. I felt hurt too because suddenly i am valuable and worthy to be talked to since i am carrying your first grandchild?
Recently i have given birth to my child and upon visiting me at the hospital, she didnt get anything for me or my child. Post discharge she visited us again at our home and she did not want to carry my baby because she said her hands are weak??? She also did not give us anything. I am trying to manage my expectations here but is it too much to ask for a small gift or ang bao, as it is her very first grandchild? My parents have given so much to my baby and did above & beyond to help me with my confinement. Her finances are way better than my parents too, so it is not an issue of no $. Im not even asking for a lot, but not even a $20 ang bao or sth? Yes my expectations are low.
During the short visit to our home my MIL also made comments telling us not to carry our baby so as not to spoil him. Our baby was 2 weeks old Ffs. Also, she only visited us for 30mins and immediately judged us for carrying our own child. Made harsh comments like “just throw her aside there why carry? Cry also dont need pick her up one.”
At the end of the day, i am so angry, sad and resentful. I do not need to be loved by her, but I did hope that my baby would get some love from her.