So there is this new FT guy in my team, let’s call him Kevin. For the past two months, this guy has been the “golden boy” of our department. Every single morning when the boss walks in at 8:30 AM, Kevin is already at his desk, staring intensely at his monitor. Every evening when the boss leaves at 7:00 PM, Kevin is still there, typing away like his life depends on it.
During town hall, boss publically praise him, say Kevin has the “pioneer generation grit,” say local workers nowadays lack the “hunger” and always want work-life balance and hit 6:00 PM sharp run like thief. I roll my eyes so hard I almost see my own brain.
But okay, fine, maybe he really is very productive, right? WRONG.
Yesterday, I forgot my keys and had to return to the office at 11:30 PM. The office lights were motion-triggered and mostly off. As I walked towards my cubicle, I heard this weird, rhythmic rustling sound coming from the largestorage breakout room at the back.
I thought got ghost, or worse, security breach. I creeped over, pushed the door open slowly, and turned on my phone flashlight.
Bro. You will not believe it.
This guy literally pitched a Decathlon 2-second popup tent right behind the spare racks. I am not kidding you. A whole active-camping setup inside an air-conditioned CBD office. He even has a sleeping bag, an inflatable pillow, a multi-plug extension cord powering his portable mini-fridge, and three rows of iHerb supplements neatly stacked on the chassis.
The rustling sound? He was inside the tent turning body while watching Netflix on his iPad.
When my flashlight hit his tent, he zipped it down, looked at me blankly, and put his finger to his lips to ask me to “bro, close one eye.”
Turns out, this genius realized Singapore rental market is too insane. Instead of paying $1,200 a month for a miserable HDB common room in Woodlands, he decided to just live in the office for free. He showers at the Gymmboxx downstairs at 6:00 AM, uses the office pantry microwave for all his high-protein meals, and gets free high-speed fiber internet and central air-con 24/7.
The best part? Because he’s always “at work,” he just wakes up at 8:00 AM, brushes his teeth in the toilet, puts on a fresh polo shirt, and sits at his desk. To the management, he is an ultra-hardworking corporate warrior who slogs 16 hours a day. In reality, he is just maximizing his cost-savings and using company electricity to power his lifestyle!
I am completely torn between being absolutely disgusted by this cheapo behavior and being deeply impressed by his absolute lack of shame. The level of optimization is honestly next level. He is literally converting our office squarage into his personal tax-free housing allowance.
Meanwhile, us locals who actually pay mortgages and transport fees to commute every day get labeled as “not hungry enough” because we want to go home to see our families.
Should I phantom-report this to HR or just let him cook? If he gets caught, the drama will be legendary. What would you do?