Throwaway account because my wife knows my main. I just need to vent because every time I go on Reddit or TikTok, it’s always the same story: “My Mother-in-Law (MIL) is a monster, my MIL is toxic, my MIL ruined my BTO.”
Can we please be real for a second? Not all MILs are bad. Honestly, some of you from this generation are just so incredibly pampered until cannot take it, and the old people look at you all also buay tahan (cannot tolerate).
Case in point: My younger brother got married last year. He and his wife managed to get a nice 4-room BTO in Sengkang. Because both of them work corporate jobs and claim to be “so busy, so burnt out,” my mother volunteered to travel all the way from Ang Mo Kio three times a week just to help them clean up, cook dinner, and wash their laundry. She’s 66 this year, knee not even that good, but she still does it out of pure love.
Last week, my sister-in-law (SIL) flipped her lid. Why? Because my mother organized their kitchen tupperware and folded their clothes “wrongly.” Mind you, my mother didn’t throw anything away. She just saw the mess and wanted to help. SIL comes home, sees the folded clothes, and throws a massive tantrum about “boundaries,” “respecting her space,” and how her “mental load is triggered.”
Bro, what mental load? Someone literally cooked you a 3-dish-1-soup traditional Chinese dinner so you don’t have to eat GrabFood every day, and you are crying about boundaries because your Uniqlo Airism shirt wasn’t folded into a perfect file?
My mother was so upset she quietly took the MRT home and cried. When my brother confronted SIL, she threatened to move back to her parents’ place because she felt “unsafe and controlled” in her own home.
The entitlement is unreal nowadays. Our parents’ generation went through actual hardship. They worked 12-hour shifts, raised three kids without helper or childcare, and never complained. This new gen gets a bit of free help and they treat it like a human rights violation. They want the benefits of a traditional village support system but want to act like independent Western influencers.
If you want absolute boundaries, then don’t accept the free food, don’t accept the childcare help next time, and don’t take your parents’ red packet money for your renovation. If you accept the help, have some basic qing shang (EQ) and gratitude. Stop assuming every old person is out to ruin your life. Sometimes, they just don’t know how to express love other than doing chores for you.
End of rant. Go ahead and downvote me, strawberry generation.