Eh seriously, I cannot brain some Singaporean guys. Lately, my Telegram, WhatsApp, and WeChat notifications have been exploding with these PRC “KTV PR” or “pub hostesses” sending me the same template text everyday. Always the same pattern:
“Hey handsome, long time no see, tonight got special event, come down support me leh!” “Dear, my manager checking my target tonight, can come open one bucket of beer for me?”
The thing that drives me absolutely mental is not the spam. It’s the fact that so many SG men are actually so kam gong (gullible) and desperate that they actually rush down to the pub or lounge immediately! Like simisai? You think she really missing you ah? She only misses the sound of your credit card tapping the Visa terminal lah!
Let’s break down the math for these simps, because clearly, logic has left the building:
- The “Support” Trap: You drop everything, take Grab down to some shady pub in Geylang, Bugis, or Where ever
- The Damage: You open one bucket of Heineken or Tiger. Instantly $150 to $200 gone.
- The “Earning”: She sits with you for exactly 10 minutes, drinks 80% of your beer, smiles, laughs at your boring IT support or property agent jokes, and plays one round of dice.
- The Audacity: Before the bucket is even empty, she starts hinting, “Eh, boss, buy me lady’s drink can? Then must give tips also, my manager watching.”
Hello??? She is already earning commission from the overpriced beer bucket you just bought, and you still want to give her a $50 cash tip? For what? Touching your shoulder for 5 seconds? You think your money fall from the sky or printed by MAS directly?
The best part is these guys will text their friends the next day, bragging, “Bro, I think she likes me, she kept calling me ‘shuai ge’ and texted me the moment she woke up.” Wake up your idea lah, bro! She sent that exact same broadcast message to 500 other guys in her contact list. You are just Client #42.
If you have so much spare cash to burn just to get fake attention from a woman who will forget your name the moment the pub shutters open at 3 AM, go donate to charity or give your parents allowance instead. At least the return on investment is real.
Go down open bucket, give tips, buy lady’s drink… You think my name Robert meh? Clear case of money more than brain.