Was giving SGD10,000 to bride’s parent too little?
I was prepared to give SGD10,000 to my future wife’s parent. This amount includes the pin jin (translated as bride price) and price of tables (her parents will keep the red packets from the tables)
Her parents are asking for more pin jin. MIL is very unhappy and scolded her daughter for speaking up for me. MIL black face when negotiating. I not sure if I should be feeling guilty for causing this fall out.
Would appreciate some sharing on 1)) How did you nego with the other side on pin jin and table? 2) What’s the bride price and total price of tables? If you did not hold banquet table, what’s the bride price?
Edit Background: MIL asked for a price that was even higher than $10,000. After nego became $10k, and MIL is still very unhappy with $10k and pick fights with her daughter over this. I’m willing to give $10k if it keeps the peace, but it seems not the case. Which makes me wonder why MIL is making her daughter’s happy marriage become a unhappy one due to money?
Edit: I’ve noticed some comments sharing that in laws
- will give back (huili) a large portion of the pin Jin
- some gave gifts to the daughter and son in law
- paid for tables and they keep the red packets
So there’s like reciprocity from both sides.
My MIL initial proposal
- keep 99% of the pin jin. 1% return.
- not gifting anything
- tables I pay and she keep the red packets.
In these 3 points, MIL take, not give, and take.
- She selling daughter ah? 10k is good enough leh, some even give back a portion to help with renovation cost etc ..
- There’s no right amount, but $10k definitely seems too much, especially when the parents are already keeping the red packets from the tables. What is your wife’s stance in this? She has to speak up so you won’t be stuck in such a difficult position.