Dark family secret = unbreakable chain of dark bad life experiences
I’m in my 30s. I have been living on my own for 6 years ago and am really trying to get my life back on track and permanently stop this reoccurring evil thought once and for all.
I know that one major holdback has got to do with my family history.
I had an immense hatred for my dad. He’s mostly unemployed all his life. Close to decade a ago, a younger sibling claimed that she was raped by him. There was one night when I just felt different too. No one told me about it and apparently, they think it’ll cause me to go mental. They got separated for a while. He claimed that it wasn’t him and it was his “black magic” partners or some spirits of some sort pushing him to do so. And now they are happily together again.
I am slightly mentally unstable and am finding it hard to stay in a job for at least a month. Some narrow-minded people are always asking “where’s your family”, “go back to them” and worst of all when I was homeless, everyone start spitting judgemental comments like “you ran away from your parents, that’s why all these are happening to you”, “that’s why you stress”.
Would appreciate any advice from anyone who had an unfortunate background like mine. Going back to them is not an option. I am the black sheep, the quiet, chronically introverted one. But I know all these stuff swept under the rug are toxic, and so are they. Why would I want to be around a rapist and his human clan? No one has been or can support me in any way. Why would I want to suffer in silence? I’d rather hang myself than to go back to them.
Just want to get these out off my chest as I can’t really let anyone know what really happened behind closed doors AND how religion can stupidify people/people who are quick to judge.
May with this confession, I can completely let go of this dirty secret, not feel guilty anymore and move on.
Here are what netizens think:
- the very first thing to tackle i would say is how you perceive other people’s opinions especially about why you moved out. my case is not so serious but i get the same comments and people’s unsolicited advice as to reconciling with toxic parents. i have come to terms that i am doing this for my own sanity and i am the most impt person in my life. if i am happy, my life will be better. no single person can truly understand what you are going through so try not to go back and forth thinking that you are wrong to split from your family. also, you don’t need to justify to people why you are doing what you did. if you are happier and at peace now, you are right.
- Life can be bright and full of love. It’s also short and you don’t deserve to waste it away like this.