I’m 19 and consider myself straight. But I met this gay guy at school (age 21) and we really got on.
We made fast buddies and I admit I did strangely find him attractive. He’s taller than me, lean, thick dark hair, and super- brown eyes.
The first hint that something was up was when we were in the shower cubicle at the campus gym and I saw him without anything on. It totally turned me on.
Fortunately, I had my pants on because there was definitely a boner. So some time goes by… and we hang out (and yeah, in between I did jerk off imagining him).
Then one night about a few months ago I was over at his house and we were watching a movie. We were sitting pretty close together and I felt inclined to hold his hand so I reached over and took it.
He didn’t even seem surprised, though I did notice a smirk on his face. Anyway, he didn’t pull away and we just sat there holding hands for awhile.
Then we sort of glanced at each other, and he leaned forward and kissed me.
Then I kissed him back and we made out on his couch (at some point we were even lying down, him on top of me, with shorts removed and that got me even more turned on).
 He led me by my hand to his bedroom, we took each other’s clothes off, and had intercourse (everything including oral but short of “backdoor” since I was not prepared for that in more ways than one).
And I was confused but pretty happy, and it was honestly better than anything I’ve ever had with a girl (though my experience in that arena is rather limited). I ended up spending the night with him. From that point on, our interactions changed.
When greeting each other, we kiss, I spend a few nights a week at his place.
My roommate (who is also gay) walked in to our apartment once and found me with my head in his lap and him stroking my hair.
Afterwards, my roommate referred to him as my boyfriend, and I had to correct him, because again, I’m straight, but I feel strongly connected with him and enjoy spending time close to him.
But then last night my sister asked how things were going with my boyfriend. She said it jokingly, but it’s starting to make me self- conscious.
Am I misinterpreting this relationship, and we’re more than just close buddies who periodically have fun? Is it possible I’m not straight, or do no other straight guys feel comfortable doing stuff like this? Any advice?”
Netizens’ comments
- Ya, u are not straight. U are bi at best. And the relationship is either friends with benefit or soon-to-be boyfriend. Like even a straight male doesn’t do this kind of stuff with a close female friend?
- We’re all on a spectrum, not an on-off switch. It’s possible to love just this one male person, and not others. People love to place others into neat little boxes so that their tiny brains can get on with life, but that doesn’t mean reality is such. Just love who you love. Life’s too short, and all that jazz.