Eh, real talk, what is wrong with some of you people? Lately, the Facebook resident groups and TikTok are flooded with CCTV footage of these absolute clowns doing “HDB block shopping.” Walking down the corridor like they are browsing at Orchard Road, looking left and right, and then smoothly pocketing someone’s worn-out Asics or Nike Dunks.
Seriously, what is the economy coming to? You can afford to take lift up to the 12th floor but cannot afford to buy your own shoes?
But the biggest mystery is: Why you want people’s used shoes?
Let’s be real here. This is Singapore. The humidity is consistently 90%, and the weather is permanently roasting. We walk from the MRT, we sweat. We walk to the hawker centre, we sweat. By the time we kick off our shoes outside our house, that footwear has been marinated in eight hours of pure, unadulterated foot sweat. It is basically a biological weapon.
And you, you absolute weirdo, decide to sneak up the stairs, pick up these toxic hazard items, and shove them into your canvas bag. For what?
You like the smell of people’s feet is it? Take home put under your pillow so you can get a whiff and get high ah?
Is that your daily morning hit of dopamine? Wake up, snort a stranger’s stale sweat, and suddenly your day is complete? You take the shoe back, put your nose right inside the toe box, and take a deep breath like it’s premium aromatherapy? “Ah, smells like 20,000 steps and a fungal infection, standard solid.” Like that?
If you have a foot fetish, just say so, don’t need to go around stealing property. If you sell it on Carousell, who even buys a second-hand shoe that smells like sour milk and damp socks? “Condition 9/10, lightly seasoned by previous owner’s sweat glands.” Like that?
Please lah, have some self-respect. If you see nice shoes outside, just look, don’t touch. Now everyone is installing those digital doorbells and CCTV cameras anyway. Next thing you know, your face is plastered on SingaporeUncensored and your whole neighborhood knows you are the local Corridor Shoe Sniffer.
To the victims, just start keeping your shoes inside or buy a shoe cabinet with a solid lock. Don’t feed these foot-smell addicts. And to the thieves: Go and buy a bottle of glue to sniff instead, it’s cheaper and less embarrassing when you get caught by SPF.
Sian, standard drop drastically. Disgusting sia.