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Friday, September 22, 2023


Never thought I would let myself be caught in a toxic relationship. Only learnt what toxicity is, gaslighting and such after being in one myself. Glad to say I got out of it, not 100% but I am doing way better than the past few months. It hurts to let go of the relationship because of the sweet precious memories. But removing the rose tinted glasses, which I am trying to do now, will help me recognise all the underlying issues.


There are always the urge to bow down and beg for reconciliation, as I had done several times before. But now, it is time to face the issues and let them remind me of why leaving/letting the relationship go is the best for both of us. But honestly, it is never easy to just look at the issues and ignore the ‘what-if’s and ‘what could have been of us if we stayed’. Hence, appreciate if you guys could share any stories of toxic relationships and the recovery.

I have sought for support and help from the people around me but sometimes it is really difficult to hold back and waver again.

Here are what netizens think:

It feels like you’re codependent. It is very broad so try and read as much as you can. Also it feels like you naturally gravitate towards a certain personality.

This usually happens if you were in a similar surrounding for a long time and it’s what you’re used to. You’d be surprised how our subconscious mind work.


I’d suggest for u to list out all the characteristics of your exes that attracts you and the red flags. This is for you to recognize who and what they are. And so you could see a pattern you’ve formed.

Then write down characteristics you like in a person. Do that everyday until your brain changes it’s wiring.

Emotions are non-existent other than in our heads. I know it is hard to ignore them but try. Don’t let the what-ifs get to you. You’re not here to fix someone, you’re here to find that someone who is willing to be in the journey with you.

We are all imperfect, so find someone who is willing to walk this path with you and wants to work it out TOGETHER. Not one way.

Do not read the toxic relationships others share, you’re prob an over thinker and reading them will just feed into what I said earlier – being attracted to drama. Get rid of this from yourself.

  • Mine quite easy. No matter how much I love the guy, but once I realize I had been gaslighting, and is just a continuous vicious cycle, I just break up and the love just goes down. If a person can treat me so badly consistently, that one or two times sweetness cannot covers it. The only what ifs is, what if I can get married to a better man, what my life will be if my man super pampers me.
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