Why is it so damn hard to make new friends in Singapore once you hit your 30s?

Wah lau, I need to rant because lately I feel like my social life is flatter than a piece of plain roti prata.

Context: I’m in my mid-30s, working a typical 9-to-6 corporate desk job in the CBD. Lately, I looked at my WhatsApp and realized my chat history is just:

1. My boss chasing for reports.
2. Foodpanda delivery rider asking for my unit number.
3. Group chats from uni/NS days that have been dead since 2022.

Seriously, how do adults in SG even make new friends? Last time during schooling days or NS, it was so easy. You just complain about the same annoying cher or the siao on Platoon Commander, standard bond created already. After that, go major cross-island cafe hopping or drink beer at Clark Quay until 3 AM, no problem.

Now? Everybody is inside their own bubble.

• The Married/BTO Group: These ones are totally ghost. Once they get their keys, they disappear into their HDB flats. Weekend means going to IKEA to buy pillows, cleaning the toilet, or fetching their toddlers to sensory class. If you try to jio them out for a quick coffee at the kopitiam, they need to check their shared Google Calendar with their spouse three weeks in advance.
• The “Hustle Culture” Group: These ones are too busy building their portfolio, doing side hustles, or staring at crypto charts. You ask them to chill, they ask you back if the outing got “networking value” or not. Everything also about financial freedom by 40.

I tried joining some hobby groups, like a local running club and a board game meetup. But modern socializing in SG feels so transactional. People are polite, we make small talk about the weather or how crowded the MRT was, and then at the end of the night, we just exchange Instagram handles and never message each other ever again. It’s just adding to my follower count, not my actual life.

Is it just a Singaporean trait that we are too tired from work to put effort into new people? Or am I just doing this wrong? Anyone else feeling the same damn lonely vibe, or did y’all successfully find a new kaki at this age without relying on your childhood friends? Help a brother out, otherwise my only conversation partner on weekends will be the Sheng Siong self-checkout machine.