I can’t leave my life but I can’t live this way.
I’ve been married for about a decade or so, with two lovely kids.
My husband and I are cordial but I have no love for him. He just recovered from an illness he battled for 3 years. What made me fall out of it was, I had to find out about his affairs when he was sick. It hurt me to the point I became numb. We were already not sleeping together since 2019, and I always wondered why.
Then I found the explicit selfies on his phone. It just broke me. So why am I still here?
I’m here because I love my kids. That’s all.
I work a 9-5 job, as an executive. Recently I was chosen to do a company-sponsored course and I got to know this guy. We became friends and I did not expect to find him attractive initially. We became Facebook friends and I discovered he does martial arts, has a great career and is single. Other than that I took it an extra information.
As the days went by, I started to develop feelings for him. He would text me and ask how I am coping with my assignments, we’d talk about it. I like him, I’d like to explore something that’s beyond platonic friendship, but I am still a married woman.
I can’t imagine being selfish, and leaving, but I know it’s literally nothing because this guy doesn’t even know I have feelings for him.
So I’m lost between leaving, but I just cannot go on living this way.
Here are what netizens think:
- Since u had found out about his infidelity, it is already a valid reason to seek a divorce. Finding a new man who is good to u (if he is really the one) is all the more a valid ground for u, since he was the one who let u down in the first place. Genuinely wish u all the best! Don’t let the mindsets of old tradition (eg being selfish for giving children a broken family) blackmail u into doing what is genuinely good for u!
- You are looking for an escape from the misery that is your marriage, that’s all there is to it. Jumping into an affair might seem to fix your broken heart for awhile but you will open up a can of worms for yourself, your husband and children. Think wisely. It might be better to get a divorce if the marriage is irreparable and co-parent as amicable ex-spouses than go on in a loveless marriage and everyone suffers. You are always free to pursue your own happiness after settling your kids’ welfare first.