Am I wrong to desire that my wife do things with me she did with her earlier partners?
I’m a 50m, married to my wife 46f for 22 years. My wife is the only partner I have ever had. While dating my wife told me a lot of details about her previous bedroom activities with her exes, including some specifics of giving guys oral.
Dating my wife went down on me very briefly a few times but never more than a couple of minutes and never to climax, yet enough for me to know I enjoy it.
We went through marriage counseling a few years ago for other issues. When the counselor asked if we wanted to discuss intimacy she cut it off immediately. I wanted to but she didn’t.
Since we have been married my wife has brought me to climax twice orally. Outside of that there have been a handful of times she has gone more than a couple of minutes, otherwise at most it’s a 20 second tease.
It makes me angry and frustrated, but she seems to think it’s funny. She’s even promised oral for other big favors only to either just give me a short couple of minutes or so nothing at all. To say the least that frustrates and irritates the living hell out of me.
I perform oral a lot on her. I have also bought toys to use on her which she really loves. For me, all she does is say “hop on” and basically use her as a hole.
I want more but she has zero desire. It’s turned into me not wanting to do much because I know I’ll work hard for little reward other than bland humping.
A lot came out of that situation, including me finally telling her it hurts me that she won’t do with me what she did with other guys in the past.
Then when I at least try to come up with a solution that would work for her too she blows up and throws it in my face.
She then tried to say she was drunk when she went down on all of those guys. I called her out on that too because some of the stories would have implied she hadn’t been in a position to drink.
I kept my cool although I wanted to yell back at her. She eventually said she doesn’t like f-ing me, hates the toys (which is a lie because she finishes every time with them), and has no desire to do anything extra for me. I let it go, and even apologized for bringing it up even though I had nothing to apologize for.
I feel like I’m missing out and that I’m going to die one day having been denied something I really want. Worse, I’m thinking about all of the other guys my wife pleasured but here I am being denied.
I honestly want to go punch them in the face even though it’s not their fault. It hurts and it sucks.
I dont know, maybe I’m being irrational?