Not attracted to my husband anymore because of his financial habits.
My husband and I are really good together but sometimes I feel that we do not have similar goals and vision as me, in terms of finances & business.
We have a few children together and my goal has always been to give the children the best lives and attaining financial freedom for the family. I strongly believe that financial freedom is the key to living life to the fullest and it is extremely important to me. I know many people would say that money is not everything bla bla bla, but that’s just my personal belief.
Ok back to the story, I plan our finances long-term and do not like wasting it on unnecessary expenses. But my husband seems to be ok with these unnecessary expenses. He has never been good with finances, and he doesn’t have savings himself.
An example of unnecessary expenses, one of them is visiting expensive specialists every now and then for some small issue. The normal person would visit a GP and then get medications/advice from the GP and if conditions doesn’t improve, only then they’ll visit a specialist, right? But no, every small issue, he wants to go to a specialist.
Not only that, his father is sick and we have to help out with their medical bills. Oh, don’t get me wrong, I am perfectly fine with spending money to help his father get well.
Now the thing is that my MIL thinks my husband and I are some sultan or something. They cannot afford private hospitals themselves and yet they insist on going private hospitals and specialists instead of public hospitals that have subsidies. In the end, my husband and I have to help out with the crazy hospital and medical bills.
One example was a one night stay at a private hospital, costing up to $20k – perhaps there was some complications as well so i don’t know exactly how much the breakdown is. My parents in law DO NOT HAVE EVEN A SINGLE INSURANCE PLAN.
I am perfectly fine with paying because of course it’s our duty to look after my parents in law, but I want them to understand public hospitals are fine as well. I mean what is so bad about public hospitals?
Keep in mind we have kids to support, helpers to pay, my own parents to repay and I am also a working mother working on my growing business. Imagine having to juggle between all that.
My husband doesn’t say anything to encourage his parents to go to a public hospital to cut costs and even ENCOURAGES them to go to PRIVATE hospitals like he is damn rich and he loves to flex to his parents that I’m very capable etc. We even have to pay for their maid soon, but that’s a small matter because I really want his parents to be taken care of.
I mean yes we are quite well to do because my husband joined me in my business and it’s doing quite well, but we are not “UNLIMITED PRIVATE HOSPITAL STAYS UNLIMITED SPECIALIST VISITS WITHOUT INSURANCE” kind of wealthy yet.
My husband is a few years older than me and yet he doesn’t think long term financially. I mean at this rate with him, I feel like he will slow me down in terms of achieving my goals. Whenever i tell him to invest our money, he will be like “not the right time” bla bla bla. He just doesn’t have that kind of drive.
I’m torn because I don’t know how to tell him to understand my POV. I do not want to end up like his parents. They have really bad financial planning, and are victims to lifestyle inflation. Even though in the past they were making decent amount of money, they have little to none left now. Bad financial planning is why they are in such a plight now.
I WOULD NEVER EVER WANT TO BURDEN MY CHILDREN LIKE THAT EVER NEXT TIME. I would understand that they have so many commitments.
Oh and I can’t speak up because my husband and his parents has that kind of “I deserve the best private medical care if you can afford it and don’t pay for it, you’re bad” mindset. The father is very sick as well so it’s really not a good time to be talking about how expensive it is etc.
Sometimes I feel so guilty because I love my husband but I know deep down I could never be with man who is bad at finances and doesn’t spend time thinking of ways to grow our money with me. He does try, and i’m very grateful for it. However, after trying for awhile he’ll just give up or forget about it.
I used to always be sexually attracted to him but nowadays I don’t feel it anymore. Perhaps it’s because there are so many things going on and I honestly feel so tired. I’ve just gave birth recently and never really had a proper rest. Am I losing feelings? I feel soo tired when i’m around him recently.
I’m so obsessed with planning the family’s finances well because I really want to give my children a good life, that’s all.
Am I losing feelings or I just want to find someone else more suitable for me? ???? I don’t even know how I feel now. What will you do in my situation?