Not able to move on from my affair to a married colleague
Last year, I started having an affair with a married colleague who lives in Malaysia. However, due to covid, he was stuck in Sg. Being bored when my bf was busy, we started hanging out as friends.
But from friends, it turned into something more when he kiss me. I knew then I should start to distance myself but somehow I was drawn toward him. We are so different in the way we live, our first language, and our religion but I still like him. We did things unimaginable in the bus, playground and places by going third base. We even said “ily”.
One day, when we were in between arguments we made a pack that if this relationship can last 10 years we will forgo our past and be together but things became worst and I do not think it can ever be recovered.
Things started to spiral when covid restrictions were lifted. He was able to go back to Malaysia on weekends and by doing so I became more jealous, more demanding even when I was out with my bf.
He tried to gave in to me by adhering to my request but it just did not satisfy the attention that I needed from him. We started arguing weekly to daily and starting hanging out less and texting less. I know that this is for the better as I was soon to be married to my bf. However, I was not able to let this affair go.
Now, we only lunch together and occasionally go home together but we stop chatting as much when we do so. When things start to seem slightly friendlier and jokes are being thrown around, somehow he will stop talking as much and not letting the convo progress. I know this is for the best and I want to move on to concentrate on my own life. But all I do is think of him and when we talk face to face at times I feel like I am about to cry and I am not sure if he notice it. I wish to know what he is thinking and if he is able to give me another chance. But I also want to move on from this.
I am confused and want to move on from this but I cannot bring myself to do so and would like some advice on how to move on from this feeling and guilt.
Here are what netizens think:
- For god sake, please end your relationship with your current bf. He doesn’t deserve a lady of your calibre.
- Of course the first thing is to let go of your boyfriend. What were you thinking that you wanted to marry him, when all you thought about was the married man?
- He had great time with you, he is not going to leave his family for you.. cut all ties, change job and move on to marry your bf(poor thing) or move on with your own life. Such relationship hardly has a good ending. Don’t deceive yourself and others too.