Am I a bad person for starving my obese useless husband?
I married my husband (46m) when he was overweight, but still athletic, very mobile, employed and a fully functioning man. We tried to have a baby pretty early into our marriage but we had no luck and then Covid hit.
He was WFH as was I, and while he was chained to his desk for 9-10 hours, I would take my meetings on a walk, and spend very little time sitting at a desk. When I did need to be at my computer, I invested in a standing desk and small treadmill. I have always been on the chubby side of a normal weight, but took this opportunity to get fitter. My husband did the opposite.
We switched off cooking, I made healthier stuff but he didn’t. It got to the point where we made separate meals. Our S life died completely. He switched from the desk to our bed when his chair broke.
He weighs at least 200kg now. He’s diabetic, has ulcers on his body, can’t wipe himself clean, and showers twice a week now. He’s not bed bound yet but he certainly acts like it. In the past six months I’ve been doing all the cooking and can’t understand why he’s getting bigger. I found out he’s been call Grab Food hundreds of dollars of food when I’m out.
I told him enough. Our marriage is dead right now, it’s all about taking care of him, coddling him, making sure he’s okay. I am exhausted. I’m also not doing it anymore.
I told him that there will be no more outside food in the house. I cook three times a day, enough for two people, and that’s it. I keep limited food in the house. He and I eat 1200 to 1600 calories a day.
He is accusing me of starvation. I told him he can either lose the weight with me, check himself into a care facility, or we can get divorced and he can eat himself to death. Those are his choices. We are barely speaking unless he decides to scream at me. I’m at the point where I’m ready to be done entirely. He’s this emotional and physical blob of a man who brings nothing to the table.
We have separate finances and the house is his, I have been slowly packing all my stuff and putting it in storage. I am interviewing for international jobs and once I land one, I am out.
He knows this plan and blames me for everything.
He disgusts me. Should I let him starve?