Hi everyone, hope to hear some of ur views. Hope this gets posted.
Tldr – How do I avoid looking like a cheapskate in front of my colleagues?
Some background abt me. I’m a single mum of 1 school-going boy, 2 elderly parents who are not working. In my 30s and I work in the CBD area doing client facing role earning mid 4figure salary. I’m ur typical sandwiched generation – not wealthy but also not starving.
My colleagues would usually go for salad lunches costing $15 per meal, eat together for dinner at those restaurants before going home, talk about the latest fashion (bags, shoes, clothes) during lunchtime.
While they are nice enough to ask me to join them for meals, a part of me feels torn – I understand that lunch sessions are a great way to bond but as compared to the $3.50 cai png (and multiplying it 5 times a wk) I could have saved so much more which would all go towards better use such as for my son or my parents.
Not forgetting my colleagues would buy a nice $4 coffee after lunch too. I do try and join them sometimes, but I’m also running out of excuses to basically say that I cannot afford to eat such “fancy” food that often because I’m the sole breadwinner.
I try not to dress too shabbily as well since we all meet clients but I can’t possibly be buying new branded clothes all the time just like my colleagues just to look nice, I thought being presentable is good enough.
My colleagues would also chip in for monthly office treats (not mandatory but ppl do know if u don’t contribute) and it just looks bad on me if I don’t put in some cash, or sometimes my colleagues would just treat each other to a beverage,
though again I know these all sum up to be quite the usual office expenditure, and I fear I look like the odd one out just because I don’t exactly “behave” like my other colleagues.
I guess my spending habits are rather atypical of an office worker in the CBD, partly because I think every cent I save then goes towards my household – as my kid grows older and parents age definitely expenses at home will rise too.
In a way, Idw to be buying $4 coffee treating my colleagues when that $4 can go towards my son’s pocket money/a bowl of noodles for my parents? Is it wrong to tighten my belts and allocate scarce funds this way?
I know I don’t earn alot and there’re many mouths to feed at home. Despite my shiny office wear actually I’m just a median salaried worker. It’s also not that Idw to find another job that pays more, but my current job on balance allows me the flexibility for my family needs and is paying me a livable wage after all.
So I wonder am I being too cheapo and if yes, how do I overcome this image so that my colleagues do not see me as this weird miser?